Butcher
by Mr. Teatime
Summary: Commander Shepard goes to meet with his old CO, Major Kyle. A look into the "Ruthless" background.


_Like sardines being surreptitiously packed into a tin can by an industrial machine. Men, women and children so tightly knit that the dead were impossible to discern from the living, their corpses kept standing upright by the mass of bodies pressing in from all sides. Still they pushed further back, those near the front unaware that those at the back were clawing into unmovable stone, their fingertips bleeding, their eyes wet from the futility, their voices coarse from impudent screaming._

"Ow. Ow. Ow!"

"Will you shut up back there?"

_Gunfire rang out through the tunnels, almost every shot fired being closely followed by the sickeningly wet sound of a bullet piercing flesh. There were more Batarians then there were available guns, so the boldest among them were forced to scamper on the floor looking for an available weapon. Those that found one fired back, the wall of Humans in front of them too close and tightly woven to miss. Still, for every Human that fell, at least five Batarians collapsed against their comrades, mortally wounded._

"Damnit, I'm going to get hemorrhoids."

"Quit being so melodramatic!"

_Just when the slaughter seemed complete, one final Batarian managed to unearth a much more heavy-duty assault cannon from the bunker's ordinance locker. Screaming a string of curses in his guttural language, he charged into the fray, and unleashed a blaze of fire into the swarming Humans. Dozens collapsed under the weight before a shimmering blue barrier burst into life in front of them, causing the fired rounds to dissipate harmlessly into thin air. A moment later, several concentrated rounds of gunfire was unloaded towards the Batarian gunman, and his body was suspended in the air for a moment before it was flung backwards, an unrecognizable rag of flesh._

"Do you actually know how to drive?"

"Listen, would you like to get up here and do this?"

"Yes!"

"...Oh."

_A singular pair of feet wove their way through the maze of blood and gore. The smell was so overpowering that those Humans still standing had turned on their respirator masks. The bunker was completely still, an eerie contrast to the chaos that had been all-consuming just moments earlier._

_ The individual stopped walking when he reached a post where a few other soldiers were tending to wounded and taking stock of the current situation. He stood at attention and quickly saluted._

_ "Major."_

_ "Commander."_

_ "What's the situation?"_

_ "The other teams are all reporting back a 100% kill rate. Not a single Batarian is still alive in this entire complex. That's an estimated six hundred and twenty-four, Commander."_

_ "Casualties on our side?"_

_ A pause._

_ "One hundred and fifty-seven confirmed dead."_

_ Commander Malcolm Shepard mulled this over for a moment. Their squad had consisted of two hundred soldiers._

_ "Mission accomplished, then," he said._

There was a rather unnecessarily drawn out commotion as Urdnot Wrex tried to squeeze his way from the driver's seat of the Mako into the back, while the considerably more slim and lithe Tali'zorah Nar Rayya slipped past him into the vacant position.

"I don't know why you didn't just let me drive from the start. Did Krogan even invent the wheel?" Tali quipped good-naturedly.

"Hah hah hah hah," Wrex rumbled dryly in response. "There is admittedly not much cause for tanks when you _are _the tanks."

"Well, now that that's over with, we should be at the compound shortly, Commander," Tali said. After a moment with no response, she peeked over her shoulder. "Commander?"

"Hm?" Shepard mumbled, eyes suddenly widening as he looked around. "What?" He gave Wrex a strange look, and asked, "weren't you driving?"

"Weren't you conscious?" Wrex responded with a shrug. "Doesn't seem like you to doze off before a mission."  
The Commander was about to deflect the notion, but was cut off by Tali.

"He's got a lot on his mind."

Shepard quirked an eyebrow at the Quarian, her face - as always - unreadable. "Yeah. I do."

"Whatever," Wrex mumbled, rapidly losing interest.

The Mako came to a halt. It was dark on the moon of Presrop, but this was not intended to be a stealth mission. In clear view was a small circle of buildings, built tough, windowless, and low to the ground to better protect against harsh environments.

The side door of the vehicle slid open, and Malcolm Shepard stepped out, landing lightly on the dark gravel beneath them. Next came Wrex, the Krogan hitting the ground with a more considerable thud. Finally, Tali jumped out, as the door hissed back into place behind them.

"Weapons sheathed," Shepard ordered. "You do not attack unless attacked first, or I give the order."

"Aye, Shepard," Tali said, as Wrex assented with a grunt.

They approached the largest of the compounds, and Shepard walked up to a small intercom system on the wall beside the locked door.

"This is Commander Shepard of the -" he started.

"I think you have to push that button, there," Tali said.

"Uh, right, thanks. This is Commander Shepard of the Systems Alliance Navy. I'm here to speak with Major Kyle."

There was silence for a moment, before a voice crackled to life through the intercom. "Father Kyle is not accepting visitors."

"Tell him it's Malcolm Shepard. I'll wait."

There was a pause, this time considerably longer. Wrex began to shuffle his feet out of boredom, before he finally turned to Tali.

"Alright, I'll bite. How did you know Shepard's got a lot on his mind?"

"What?" Tali yelped, startled by the sudden question.

"It's a good question," Shepard added, leaning against the wall and fixing her with a stare.

"Listen, I've been reporting all of the hacking exploits I've been able to find to Adams, alright? And besides, if you're going to take me into a den full of, what, armed religious zealots run by your former CO, I'd think I'd have a right to know the full story."

Wrex looked incredulously from the Quarian to the Human, as Shepard sighed.

"...I'm sorry. I, uhm," Tali began, when Wrex cut her off.

"You served under this Father Kyle lunatic?" the Krogan asked. "Was he always crazy?"

Shepard sighed again, and said, "No, he wasn't always crazy. Things happen, Wrex."

Wrex looked down at Shepard with a face that was almost poignant. "Yes, I imagine they do, don't they."

They all jumped slightly when the voice from the intercom came back to life. "Father Kyle will see you. Head through the main compound all the way to the back. Be wary - we're watching you, Butcher." Without another word, the door slid open.

Shepard shot his two companions a stern look - whether to remind them of their orders, or silence them before they could ask about the nickname, or perhaps both - and stepped inside. Wrex and Tali followed.

The bunker was lacking in any typical comforts of home. Unpainted metal walls seemed to sap any heat out of the building. Stacks of crates were piled high in every corner, each adorned with a minimalistic label such as "EAT," "DRINK," or "READ." The three walked through the chilly hallway, rounding a corner at the end, and found themselves in the middle of a wide open common room.

Nervous eyes watched them from every angle.

_Men, women, children, clinging together, watching the well armed humans advance, fear evident on their innocent faces-_

"Commander."

"What?" Shepard snapped louder then he meant to.

"I don't like this," Tali said. Indeed, there was a very uneasy feeling in the air, intensified by each cultist that they passed, glaring at them with fear, contempt or both.

"Stay calm, Tali," Shepard said, trying to sound reassuring. They continued walking, slowly and non-threateningly, towards a room at the back of the compound.

Groups of cultists were lined up along the back walls here, arm in arm, as if ready to throw themselves into a pile on top of the intruders if necessary.

_ Fingers scraping against the walls, trying furiously to escape the onslaught-_

No! These were innocent Humans. They had made a bad decision by coming here, by following an unstable would-be-prophet, but Shepard would not seem them slaughtered.

A figure stepped into the doorway, framed by the light behind him. He wore a white cloth garment, and smiled amiably at Shepard. "Malcolm. I wondered when they would send you. Come in, come in."

Shepard, and Tali stepped inside Father Kyle's room, and after some brief struggling with the narrow doorframe, so did Wrex. Kyle sat down at a small table, upon which was an uncompleted puzzle and a mug of some unidentifiable beverage. He motioned for Shepard to sit in the open seat across from him, but the Commander remained standing.

"Kyle. I'd like to say it's good to see you again, but-"

"But we both know that's bullshit," Kyle said with an airy laugh. "You're going to kill me."

There was a pause. Shepard was admittedly taken aback.

"I'm not going to kill you."

Kyle smiled up at him, then stood up and shrugged. "If you say so, though I believe it is in your nature. The Butcher of Torfan. They don't call people 'Butcher' without apt provocation, you know."

Shepard tried to push forward without giving into the bait. "I'm here because two Alliance officers have gone missing after being sent to talk to you," he said. "Any idea why that is?"

Kyle frowned, but spoke without missing a beat. "If strange men whom you did not know showed up on your doorstep and said they were going to lock you up and steal away your children - would you stand idly by and allow that to happen?"

Shepard shook his head. "No. I wouldn't. But these aren't your children. They're confused men and women, and you're taking advantage of their uncertainty."

"I have done no such thing!" Kyle snapped. "I have not claimed any special knowledge that they lack, I do not claim to be a gateway into heaven or any such madness. I am simply a fellow lost soul. We are kindred spirits. They follow me because I am them."

Shepard turned around, looking at Tali and Wrex. "May I speak to the Major in private?"

They both nodded, and left, the sliding door closing behind them.

Shepard turned back to Kyle, and took a few steps closer, concern etched across his face.

"Major, you aren't well," he said softly.

"And why wouldn't I be well?" the Major hissed. Shepard was taken aback by the sudden venom in his voice.

"Your actions are consistent with post-traumatic stress disorder. And, given your history..." Shepard said.

"Given my history?" A mad light began to glow in Kyle's eyes. "Given OUR history, you mean. But you're not crazy, are you? No, nothing can shake up the ruthless Commander Shepard. He's the man who makes the hard decisions - because he can handle it! A lesser man, like poor old Major Kyle, must be driven crazy by such atrocities taking place before his eyes!"

"I have my demons, but I deal with them!" Shepard snapped.

"Oh, demons! Demons, he says!" Kyle laughed merrily, his eyes still alight with hatred. "Yes, how difficult it must be to be you, what with all of your _demons. _Do you want to hear about demons, Malcolm? Of the fourty-three who survived Torfan, who technically made it off that wretched moon alive, do you know how many have the pleasure of standing around and talking about their demons?"

Shepard blanched. "I don't-"

"Two! You and me! Remember Redmund Cropper? Spirited lad, always talked about the girl he had back home? He beat her to death with a weight and then hung himself. Or what about Manfried Moon? Fun bloke, right? Took one too many anti-depressants and washed it down with a whole lot of hard liquor. Archie Fairclough, oh, he took the quick way out, with a Raikou pistol right to the temple."

Shepard watched as Kyle's hands began to glow faintly blue.

"Forty-one deaths, Malcolm, all self-inflicted to some degree or another, because of your actions. Because of your orders! A seventy-eight point five casualty rate wasn't enough for you, no, you had to ensure it was ninety nine! And you have the audacity to stand there, with your Command and your alien crew and talk to me about demons!"

"I made these choices!" Malcolm shouted back. "I made them, and I stand by them! And I live with them! Every day and every night I live with every decision I ever made, and I feel the weight of every soul that has died because of me pressing down, and I'm sure a good number of them would love to drag me to Hell with them. But I keep living with these decisions! I keep living, and I keep making new choices, because somebody has to, and if my curse is that I am strong enough to do it, then I gladly live with that curse!"

Kyle let out a scream, and a wave of biotic energy launched outwards. The Major had been out of active duty for several years, however, while Shepard's combat reflexes were as honed as ever. He pushed back with his own biotic force, and Kyle flew through the air, slamming into the wall, his head knocking into the metal with concussive force.

"Stand down!" Shepard screamed.

Kyle stumbled back to his feet, reached into his vestments, and withdrew a pistol, which he aimed shakily at Shepard. His finger squeezed on the trigger, but not far enough to fire.

Shepard shot first, hitting Kyle square in the forehead. Blood and brain smeared against the wall behind him as he slumped to the ground.

The Commander quickly opened the door and stepped outside, flanked by Tali and Wrex.

"Father Kyle is dead!" Shepard announced to the crowd of onlookers. "He was a deeply damaged man who has led you further away from the real help you need. You can try and attack me for revenge, but I assure you that the very large and heavily armed Krogan to my right will not appreciate that." Wrex waved helpfully at the crowd. "Or you can wait for Alliance ships to come pick you up, and you can go home to your families, and resume living your lives."

He looked from the cultists, to Wrex, to Tali, then back to the cultists, taking several deep breaths.

"That is the choice everyone gets. To live, or to die. Some people choose to die, and that is their right. I hope you all choose to live."

Not a soul moved in the entire compound. After several moments of silence, Shepard began to walk towards the exit, Tali and Wrex dutifully following. No one moved against them until they were out the door, though Shepard could not be sure if his speech had gotten to them, or if they were just suitably terrified of Wrex.

"What happened in there?" Tali asked. Wrex grunted, knowing it was better not to ask.

"I made a choice," Shepard responded. Though in his head he wondered how much longer he could last when so many of his choices seemed to end in death.


End file.
